Male Fertility Recipe: Drunken Noodles

When a restaurant breaks up with you, it hurts. You know the feeling. Your favorite taco truck tweets that it’s wheeling to another town. Your go-to pizza joint changes ownership and the pies miss that certain something.

What did you do wrong? Was it something you said? Will that dish you loved ever return?

In an odd love triangle, I watched this happen to my girlfriend. She fell in love with a dish called “drunken man noodles” from a local Thai restaurant. Her loyalty to this spicy, garlicky, salty dish impressed me. Despite my urgings for her to try something else, despite the sodium-induced thirst that followed, despite the indigestion—she’d return to the drunken man.

And then the restaurant changed its recipe.

Gone were the heat-sweetened tomatoes. Missing was the passionate fire of chilies. The tenderness left the noodles, which now swam in a greasy sauce.

I felt her anguish. I’d been there before—scorned by food loved and lost.

I knew, in this moment, that there is only ever one solution: not to replicate the dish, but to find her a new love.

Chef Jet Tila, the official Culinary Ambassador of Thai Cuisine, acting as cupid, provided the recipe. His version of the classic dish tastes lighter than what we had found at the Thai take-out. It’s easy on the oil, heavy on the garlic and basil, and studded with singeing Serrano chilies.

She was skeptical at first, my girlfriend, but as the burn of the chilies built toward its sweat-inducing critical mass, her face flushed with heat. She returned for seconds, leaving me none of the tomatoes for mine, and rested back in her chair after she was finished, satisfied.

For if you have the capacity to fall in love once, it can surely happen again.

Drunken Noodles
Recipe by Chef Jet Tila, creator of Kuma Snow Cream 

What you’ll need:
3 Tbsp soy sauce
1 Tbsp oyster sauce
1 ½ Tbsp fish sauce
1 Tbsp sugar
1 Tbsp Sriracha
3 garlic cloves, minced
6 Thai basil leaves, sliced into ribbons, plus 1 cup whole leaves, loosely packed
3 Tbsp canola or peanut oil
2 eggs
1/3 lbs. beef, pork, or chicken, sliced thin against the grain
½ medium white onion, sliced
3 to 4 cups rice noodles, separated*
¼ cup rice wine
½ cup grape tomatoes, halved
1 or 2 Serrano peppers, sliced thin

How to make it:
1. In a small bowl, combine the soy sauce, oyster sauce, fish sauce, sugar, Sriracha, half the minced garlic, and 6 Thai basil leaves. Mix until the sugar dissolves. Reserve.
2. In a large non-stick pan, heat the oil to medium high. Add the rest of the garlic and sauté until golden, about 1 minute. Add the eggs and scramble until almost set, about 1 minute. Add the meat and onions and cook until the meat is halfway done, 1 to 2 minutes. Add the rice noodles, reserved sauce, tomatoes, Serrano peppers, and basil leaves. Stir to combine until the noodles are cooked through and the edges are slightly crisp, 3 to 5 minutes. Add the rice wine, stir, and serve. Makes 3 to 4 servings.

*If you can’t find wide, flat noodles, the pad Thai-style dried variety work well, too. Just remember to soak them in water according to package directions before you start cooking.

Try our other male fertility recipes.

Source : Men’s Health

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